It was the year 2018 that changed me forever. In a sequence of events I got to know that I was expecting. Like every new mom I was filled with mixed emotions, somewhere deep down I was happy but at the same time I was nervous of the big responsibility coming my way.
As my motherhood journey began, I started reading a lot about pregnancy and childbirth. As I continued learning , natural birth became my sole agenda and I did everything to deliver normally.
To be more prepared I started researching as to what all I need for my baby once he arrives.I started making a list of all the things required for the baby and soon our house was flooded with baby stuff. My days were spent carefully curating and organizing things for my child.
As my D day was approaching I felt more confident and prepared to have a baby! I would dream of holding my little angel in my arms and my eyes would be filled with tears of joy and I would be overflowing with all the motherly love!
But the reality was very different!! I did deliver normally so yes my efforts did pay but when I held my child for the first time I was utterly confused. Neither did I get teary nor did I feel any immediate connection with my child.I didn't even know how to hold my baby and I would just look at this little being with a blank face.
In the midst of all this confusion I was asked to feed my child and that's when my real struggle began!
My child would wail and cry and I would look helplessly at everyone to tell me what am I expected to do with this little thing. My eyes finally did fill with tears but of helplessness, confusion and pain.
As my child’s feeding time would come close my heart would start throbbing and it became one of the most daunting tasks for me! Everyone who came to meet me had a different piece of advice and it only further added to my confusion.
It was then when I realized that I did all my research on what to expect when you're expecting and none on what to expect when your baby is out in the world.
Something in me kept telling me that feeding my child is best for him and so I wasn't ready to give up so soon. I kept looking for help, kept reading and kept learning!!
And then I realized that I wasn't alone , there were many mothers who were struggling like me. Some gave up too because they did not get enough help and motivation to carry on.
I felt terrible that how can our system not have enough support for something so natural, something so beautiful and something so important for both the mother and the baby. Breastfeeding is the first step every mother takes in her mothering experience and if the start is not so good it really shakes her confidence as a Mother!
I started to become more and more passionate about the cause and it was a turning point in my life.
When my child turned 1,I decided to take it up professionally and help as many mothers as I can and empower them with all the knowledge and confidence they need to take their first step into motherhood without any roadblocks.
I never thought I would know my calling through a little bundle of joy, an angel from god who happens to be my son!!